To celebrate National Mentoring Month, we are featuring a series of guest posts reflecting on mentorship. This week’s feature from Jeremy Boldt, Manager, Learning and Organization Development with the Argonne Leadership Institute, discusses the role of emotional intelligence in mentoring.
Reflecting on my career in learning and development, as well as my mentoring experiences, both as a mentee and mentor, I’ve realized the importance of people over process. With nearly two decades in organizational learning and development, I’ve noticed a preference for structured processes and metrics. However, influenced by my humanities background (and borrowing a term from one of my Argonne colleagues), I recognize the value of the “squishy” aspects of development—those unmeasured elements that hinge on emotional intelligence.
Emotional intelligence, a concept explored through various models, highlights how our emotions and personalities impact our experiences. The Emotional Intelligence 2.0 model by Dr. Travis Bradberry and Dr. Jean Graves outlines four key skills: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management. These skills are crucial in mentoring:
- Self-Awareness: Understand your motivations and reactions. Before seeking your mentor’s perspective on a work issue, reflect on your drivers to frame the conversation effectively.
- Self-Management: Use self-awareness to manage your reactions. If something bothers you, prepare mentally before discussing it with your mentor, fostering a more productive dialogue.
- Social Awareness: Focus outward to appreciate others. In mentoring, strive to understand and value your partner, enhancing the relationship and mutual learning.
- Relationship Management: View mentoring as a long-term relationship. Building and maintaining a strong connection requires effort, with both parties responsible for deepening the bond.
Consider these skills as part of a continuous journey: know yourself, manage yourself, understand others, and maintain connections. Mentoring will have its challenges, but embracing discomfort and seeking honest feedback can strengthen trust and foster a robust mentoring relationship.